The Fold

A while ago I worked at a church that was dying from the inside out. Let’s call this church “Buck.” It may shock you that this church could have pulled it together except for one fatal flaw—they thought too highly of themselves.

Buck had everything going for him. He was wealthy, influential, powerful, had lots of programs and events for church members to attend. In fact, you might even think Buck was a cool place, but once you got in, it turned into a whole different onion. You see, Buck had turned a place of worship into a country club. Calling all the rich and powerful to its doors to sample and be catered to under the guise of “church”. Slowly, the church, like all things that are built around wealth, began to change, shift and eat away at itself until Buck had to be put on life support.

This is where I come in.

I was to be working for Buck to help him change the way he was “eating,” so to speak. While I was employed there, I met a man who would later become much more than a mentor, eventuallyhe become almost like a grandfather to me. His name was, for the purpose of this article, “Ed.”
It was in our talks that I expressed my frustration with Buck and Buck’s unwillingness to change his ways and get better. At one point, Ed repeated this phrase to me,

“You have to decide if it is a preference or a principle.” -Ed

“Well that is nice to say but come on, let’s get to business.” -Me

“You have to decide that if it is a preference, that you can let it go for now, not having to right that ship on the first go round.
“Now, if it is a principle, then you have to decide if you are willing to lose your job over it. Say, if someone committed a crime or is committing heresy.” -Ed

“Yeah well, isn’t that all a matter of opinion? I could say that Buck is committing a crime because of his inability to not be an idiot when it comes to making things right. That he has allowed money and power to influence his “Christ-like” view, so much so that you would be hard pressed to find anyone at Buck who wasn’t effected by the small majority of power players.
“That is a crime. But I am smelling what you are cooking.” -Me

“You would be surprised at how much you can accomplish when you don’t have to get credit for it” -Ed

I wanted so desperately to help Buck that I had latched onto everything that I thought was wrong and attacked it with full force, like taking a Conan sword and hacking at seaweed. I was at the end of my rope. Didn’t Buck want my help, didn’t he understand he was dying?

Ed’s words rang in my ears and I began to see that even though I might see the wounds that were all over Buck, I had to choose my battles. I did not have to be right about everything, nor did I have to change everything in one day. We knew Buck was whack, and his greasy hair was mucking everything up, but maybe we could deal with his zits before we tackled his rotting teeth.

I have since moved on from Buck and for the better.
Was it because I was cocky and thought I knew how to change things? Maybe (probably).
Was Buck an unbending, smiley(smelly?), power-hungry turd that I was trying to polish? Again, maybe (most likely).
Will Buck die in a couple years if he doesn’t get some real help? Heck yes (not even kidding).

Okay, you say, who is Buck, cause I want to give him a piece of my mind yo.

Buck doesn’t matter, even though he is a real church. What matters is that we all have to deal with Bucks in our life and the saying holds true, “is it a preference or a principle?” Each one of us has to make that choice. It is unfair and retarded but it must be made. Just don’t get cocky. :)